Garden crime wave

We got home from shopping the other day and were confronted by the local gossip and head of the neighbour hood watch.

She invited us to the next neighbour hood watch meeting, before I had a chance to make my excuses the long suffering had accepted and that was that.

The next day an agenda arrived through the door and top of the agenda was garden crime. That had me twitching so I thought I`d make the effort and attend.

I dually showed my face and listened on to PC Barry waffle on about sheds being broken into in the area and july being the busiest time nationally for garden crime. The yobs are even lifting sheds up from the ground to get in them.

Mrs Briggs the old lady from next door but one had her shed broken into at the weekend, they stole everything, all her husbands tools and even the garden ornaments they have been collecting since they wed. About £4,000 worth in all, worse luck the insurance company would only pay a maximum of £1,000.

Thats it I said to the long suffering I m digging the tent out from the atic and were camping in the garden in july, no yobbos going to steal my lawn mower.

Sometimes I wonder what the world is coming too

Now, if you're like me, you'll be a simple, uncomplicated kind of person. You'll know what you want, what you like, what you don't like and what gets up your goat.


And what gets up my goat is when people try to make out that gardening is the new Middle Class black!

All you need to make your mark in this world as a gardener is a small piece of land, a spade, a sturdy back and, at the risk of upsetting a few people, a good lady to bring out the odd cup of tea and piece of cake.


Well I suppose there is one more thing us chaps like - and that's a shed. Now the shed ain't just for the old tins of paint, Maxwell House Coffee jars full of screws and the gardening gear - it's also a bit of a sanctuary. I quite often retire to my shed when the Long Suffering starts to give me grief about something I should (or shouldn't) have done.


Now I accept that, like the motor car, the shed is very bloke oriented. But unlike the motor car, us chaps don't spend hours and hours discussing the make, model, size, colour and spec. of our shed. Our shed is .. well it's just a shed isn't it?


Isn't it?


And it's certainly not top of my list to think about buying another one when I'm doing the old gardening budget - my shed will remain where it is until it falls to bits!


So what on earth would possess somebody to so love a shed so much they'd spend upwards of £10,000 on the flippin' thing? Well if you believe what these chaps have done you'll believe anything.


£10,000 on a shed!!


Give me strength!


Listen - if you've got £10,000 to spare, my advice is to pop down to your local DIY store and save yourself £9,900 - and buy yourself a small Eastern European country instead.


Silly beggars!