And you thought I was joking?

I've had a restful week so far.

In fact I've had a smashing week.

Not only have I been able to bask in the glory of my horticultural show successes - I had the photographer from the local paper round today - but the flippin' sun is out!

That's right I've been able to concentrate on some of the more pleasant gardening duties like a bit of mowing, a bit of pruning - and a bit of sitting watching my pride and joy with a glass of Spitfire in my hand!

And I've also been enjoying the fruit of my labours having dug up some more onions and some spuds which went well with a lovely bit of purple sprouting which I thought I'd lost to the rain!

And enjoying my tea whilst sat in the garden last night - for the first time this summer, the Long Suffering brought tea into the garden! - I was browsing through the papers when I came across this little story here.

This gardening business is serious stuff you know!

Quiet satisfaction!

There's nowt like a feeling of quiet satisfaction is there?

So, the Show is over. And whilst normally I'm not given to boasting - I have to say that I had a pretty good day. I managed to pick up four first prizes and a second (harsh, in my view) and pipped Pete the Plumber and Ron to collect the shield for top overall marks.

I was most pleased with my potatoes - they picked up a first and I really thought my old mucker Ron might have the beating of me there. But no - the judges obvioulsy know class when they see it! And my beetroots? "Classic" said the judges!
My tomatoes were also show winners - as were my onions. And, in fact the only blotch on the day was only picking up a second with my cucumbers - and I'll go to my grave believing that to be a travesty! - and I got nowt for my celery, but I'm not bothered about that.

So, it was a pleasing afternon and I won the raffle to boot - four 75g packets of flippin' Rootgrow which I'd donated!! The Long Suffering also did well with her Bakewell Tart picking up a first prize, together with some knitted thing and a photo of a balloon!

So, last night we sat in front of the fire (yes, I know - in July!!) and watched Casualty with a plate of Bakewell Tart and a bottle of Speckled Hen.

Bliss!

Big day today!!

Forget the Cup Final. Forget the Ashes. Forget the Queens Birthday!

Today is the big day!

It's our local Horticultural Society Summer Show today - and if you think competitive spirit is restricted to the sporting arena then think again!

Of course, as I'm considered something of a Garden Expert, the pressure is on me a bit and I have to admit, between you and I, it's got to me this year.

The problem is, all this flippin' weather we've been having has played havoc with my plans - and there's a couple of people in the village who seem to be revelling in my discomfort! It's got a bit tetchy this year with one or two things being said that maybe shouldn't be said. I've even taken to checking the greenhouse before going to bed - well you never know do you?

Mind you, come half past three this afternoon, when the judges have made their decisions we'll all be back to being good friends again. But until 3.30 I ain't speaking to them - they're not speaking to me. There's an element of jealousy in all this though. You see, just cos I work for Rootgrow, one or two of them seem to think I have a bit of an advantage - you know, like I'm cheating or something. Mind you there's hardly a murmur out of them when I'm at the AGM with free samples of Rootgrow to hand out - they're OK and best buddies then!

I did have a sneaky look at Ron's beetroots - he's not a chance! Mine are like footballs! And as for his cucumbers - his are like pea pods compared to mine! And I know I've got the beating of his plum tomatoes. But I have to hold me hands up - he had a nice plate of spuds when I popped down to the Village Hall this morning to set up. His celery looks neat too - but I've always though of celery as being a bit of a non veg - can't bear the stuff!

Pete the Plumber had also made an effort too and I think he could be favourite in a couple of categories. And my mate Burkey's missus won't be happy till she's picked up a clutch of awards. She's not what I call a proper gardener mind - but she does enter stuff in all the categories going including jams, cakes, knitting and all them other women categories.

Not that I'm against the women taking part though - me and the Long Suffering are a good team when it comes to the Summer Shows. I grow 'em and she cleans them up for me to plate up!

But right now I'm a touch on edge - and I will be for the next couple of hours!

I'll be back tomorrow and let you know how I get on!

Shifting this and shifting that .....

It was a very pleasant evening in the Garden of England last night. I was preparing some of my entries for the local horticultural show and you know when you start what should be a little job and it grows and grows? Well, I was doing OK until the Long Suffering made some comment about not liking the Nandina Domestica being next to the blackcurrants we have growing.

Not a problem I thought - I'll just lift it out and move it to wherever she feels best - after all, who am I to argue?

It's always a bit of a nerve wracking job moving well established plants but I've got my magic stuff to help me! Our Rootgrow is brilliant for this - and I know from the work we've done in the glasshouses at work just how effective it can be. (Course it helps that my boss lets me have a few sample packs).

Rootgrow is a natural, eco-friendly, five hundred million year old friendly fungi called mycorrhizal fungi.

So, if a large plant is dug up the roots are obviously damaged. But in a matter of weeks the mycorrhizal fungi colonise those damaged points (effectively sealing them) and help to prevent other nasties from getting a foothold.

Rootgrow adds a secondary living fungal root which will establish much faster than the plants own roots. And this enables the plant to find nutrients and hold onto water in the critical first few months of establishing in its new home.

Mind you, once she saw how easy the job of shifting one plant was - I was out there till almost 9 o'clock moving this and moving that.

By the time I'd washed and poured myself a glass I'd damn near missed the start of Newsnight!

Sometimes I wonder what the world is coming too

Now, if you're like me, you'll be a simple, uncomplicated kind of person. You'll know what you want, what you like, what you don't like and what gets up your goat.


And what gets up my goat is when people try to make out that gardening is the new Middle Class black!

All you need to make your mark in this world as a gardener is a small piece of land, a spade, a sturdy back and, at the risk of upsetting a few people, a good lady to bring out the odd cup of tea and piece of cake.


Well I suppose there is one more thing us chaps like - and that's a shed. Now the shed ain't just for the old tins of paint, Maxwell House Coffee jars full of screws and the gardening gear - it's also a bit of a sanctuary. I quite often retire to my shed when the Long Suffering starts to give me grief about something I should (or shouldn't) have done.


Now I accept that, like the motor car, the shed is very bloke oriented. But unlike the motor car, us chaps don't spend hours and hours discussing the make, model, size, colour and spec. of our shed. Our shed is .. well it's just a shed isn't it?


Isn't it?


And it's certainly not top of my list to think about buying another one when I'm doing the old gardening budget - my shed will remain where it is until it falls to bits!


So what on earth would possess somebody to so love a shed so much they'd spend upwards of £10,000 on the flippin' thing? Well if you believe what these chaps have done you'll believe anything.


£10,000 on a shed!!


Give me strength!


Listen - if you've got £10,000 to spare, my advice is to pop down to your local DIY store and save yourself £9,900 - and buy yourself a small Eastern European country instead.


Silly beggars!

Garden of England survives!

Being located in the Garden of England we often boast some the best weather in the country - and whilst the rest of the country was seemingly disappearing under a sea of rainwater, myself and the Long Suffering enjoyed a sunny day in the garden. Mind you such days have been as rare as rocking horse droppings of late - but we did have a cracking day yesterday and I managed to catch up with some long overdue weeding. I also collected a tray or two of cherry plums from our tree - the poor thing was almost bent double with the amount of fruit on its branches and I swear I heard it sigh with relief when I'd harvested the crop.

So, it was a nice portion of plum crumble with Sunday tea! What's more, with our Horticultural Society's Summer Show coming up on Saturday, the Long Suffering should be odds-on for the Plum Jam prize!

A day in the gaden is never enough though is it? I could have done with another six or seven hours today - but work calls and I've a week working with my friendly fungi to look forward to.

My job at Rootgrow involves working with mycorrhizal fungi - "what?" I hear you say. Well I shall explain.

Having co-evolved with plants and trees for over 500 million years, mycorrhizal fungi are widespread throughout nature and are a fundamental reason for normal plant growth and development.

Such fungi colonise plant or tree roots, extending the root system into the surrounding soil, via an extensive network of fungal filaments (up to 20 metres in a teaspoon of soil). These thread-like filaments extract nutrients and water from a large soil volume and exchange them for carbon from the plant. This secondary root system, when established, links the root systems of adjacent plants or trees and helps share, more efficiently, nutrient resources throughout the plant community.

You don't have to chang your garden methods to introduce mycorrhizal fungi - a simple application of Rootgrow to the roots of plants at planting time will suffice.

It is now recognised that the lack of the mycorrhizal relationship is a major cause of poor plant and tree establishment, and weak growth in a variety of agricultural, urban and suburban landscapes, and gardens.

So, for that perfect garden, take a look at Rootgrow.

There. That should get me an extra fiver in my Christmas bonus!

Where's Noah when you need him?

I don't know about you but it hasn't escaped my attention that the weather has been a tad on the damp side of late. I've been more than occupied trying to limit the damage to my pride and joy - but there are times when I've been almost driven to despair.

It's not just the hours and hours of work that is draining away before our eyes, it's the long term damage to some beautiful and well-established gardens that upsets me. More to the point, it's our local Summer Show this weekend and the way things are going I'll be entering stuff in the water features section!

The Long Suffering remains convinced it's all part of Tony Blair's legacy to the country - and she has a point. It's rained every flippin' day since Gordon Brown took his place at the helm!

But to be fair to the boy he has got his numpties at the Environment Agency to provide some practical advice to help alleviate flood damage in gardens.

Which is fair enough - but its tipping it down again and I can't even get into the garden to start alleviating!

Now, where did I put my Ark?

Chelsea success

I had a wonderful Chelsea this year.

The Long Suffering also enjoys Chelsea too - cos it's the one time of year she can be sure I'll not be under her feet. Like royalty I'm taken to Chelsea with my own driver - not in a flashy Daimler, mind you, but crammed in the back of the firm's Transit balancing packets of flippin' Rootgrow, seeds, cuttings, pots and all the other paraphernalia that we'll need for the show.

Although we don't actually exhibit at the show, our influence is certainly there.

We were particularly pleased for our friends at Hillier Garden Centres, whose team picked up a record 62nd consecutive Gold Medal - an achievement that earned them a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.

This year, their Chelsea exhibit highlighted the benefit of micro organisms in the soil to plant health and drew comparisons with the benefits of micro organisms in the human digestive system.

As trees are usually the most important structural plants in any garden their successful establishment and root development is key to their success. It is appropriate therefore to highlight the importance of what goes on below the ground to the more visible part of the plant in the garden landscape. Friendly fungi are available to the amateur gardener in the form of Rootgrow - a granular formulation of mycorrhizal fungi which is added to the planting hole to put them in direct contact with the roots.

The plant roots then develop in association with the fungi to aid establishment of the plant and overcome problems associated with replanting.

What else took my fancy this year? Well like most of you I was glad there was barely a piece of decking in sight - it really is about time we started to focus our energies on reclaiming the humble garden for what it was intended to be - a place to appreciate beuatiful flowers, grow tasty fruit and veg and a place to have a snooze after lunch! Indeed I was pleased to see the BBC reporting the other day about the loss of the front garden - but what can be done?

I was also glad to see a reduction in the number of so-called water features - another blessed curse on the garden. The constant drip and dribble of water through the mouth of a whale or some other inappropriate model is another thing to get me ranting! If you want a water feature in your garden - I suggest you look outside your kitchen window now - enough blessed rain to last us a lifetime!